Wedding Crashers
by Misguided Choices
Summary: All it took was a quote, a few questions and explanations for McGee and Abby to have Ziva realize that Tony took her to a wedding. Where they didn't know anyone and they weren't invited. DiNozzo and David, Wedding Crashers.
1. Rule 2: Never Use You're Real Name

A/N: Spring break equals writing. I'm writing this and then I'm going to start up again on Call Me Irresponsible. So we'll see how that goes. But I've had this idea for a while, so I hope you guys like it.

Disclaimer: Don't own. Sucks. I WANT

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The basses pumped and they could hear the sound before they even stepped off the elevator. They were used to this-the entire building was. If you worked at NCIS, you knew that Abby Scuito worked more quickly when her music was about to break the speakers.

McGee and Ziva walked into Labby, a box of evidence in hand. McGee let it go, the box slamming down on the metal table. Abby quickly turned around from her computer, her pigtails flying.

"McGee! Don't scare me like that," she reprimanded, taking a sip of her Caf-Pow!

"Sorry, Abby." He stated, as he began emptying the box.

"So what do we have?" the scientist questioned.

"Dead marine found in an…interesting choice of dress," Ziva answered, pulling out a bag that contained a multi-colored, checkered jacket.

Abby smiled, looking over at McGee "Never walk away from a crasher in a funny jacket, Rule 115."

Ziva looked to the two of them, her eyes wide in confusion. "There is a new rule? Why would Gibbs make a ruler about a funny jacket? And what is a crasher?"

"No, Ziva," McGee started "It's from a movie."

"Have you two been spending too much time with Tony? He is the one who usually quotes movies."

"Well, I guess I have," Abby commented, slurping her caffeinated drink, "but that's beside the point. McGee and I were talking about this movie we saw together. Wedding Crashers. It was really funny. And that's just one of the things they talk about."

"They talk about funny jackets and crashing weddings?"

McGee and Abby shared a look, deciding how they would go about explaining this.

"Sort of," McGee started, but was cut off as Abby continued.

"Okay. So the movie is about these two guys who just crash weddings. They aren't invited or anything. They just act like they know the family, go to the wedding and the reception. They go for free food, alcohol and to get with girls."

"Ziva, didn't you go to a wedding with Tony recently?" McGee asked, a smirk on his face as he moved to stand by Abby.

"Yes. But it wasn't like that at all."

"Well, when you guys first got there did he use his full name?" Abby questioned.

"No," she replied, looking at the table "He said it was a friend from his frat house. He used a different name. I just assumed that was what they called him."

"Did he use a different name for you?" McGee asked.

"Yes! He actually called me Sophie, from the old case when I first started here."

"Well, what about gifts or anything?" McGee questioned.

"Tony said he already sent it ahead of time. Or that his friend did not ask for anything. I'm not sure…"

Abby chuckled, "Ziva. You and Tony crashed a wedding."

"No! He would not do that. He would know I would kill him."

"Seriously, Ziva, you guys crashed a wedding."

"McGee?" the Israeli asked, trying to see if he agreed with the scientist.

"Sorry, Ziva. It seems kind of shady. I think Abby has a point."

If Anthony DiNozzo wasn't scared of Ziva David, he was about to be. Some people said that they could hear her scream from all the way down in the lab. Tony would have to agree; he had booked it out of the bullpen pretty fast…

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A/N: First chapter done. Writing the second as we speak! Read and Review please.


	2. Rule 15: Resist telling the truth

A/N: Chapter 2! The confrontation. Ziva needs some answers. Where else to get them than the men's room?

Disclaimer: Still don't own.

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"Anthony DiNozzo, where are you?" Ziva yelled, pushing the men's bathroom door against the wall.

A new intern stood at the sinks, shocked that she had just barged in like that. She glared at him and he quickly shuffled out. With the door closed, she locked it and thought for a few moments.

She went to each stall, looking down to see if she could see anyone's feet. Of course she wasn't stupid; she knew he was in here. So she heaved a heavy sigh, went to the door, unlocked it and quickly opened it. In one swift motion, she hoisted herself onto the sink counter and waited.

Once the door close, she heard a chuckle, clomping of expensive Italian loafers slap to the floor, and watched as the door of the last stall opened. She smirked at her partner as he jumped back, shocked that she had been able to trick him.

"We need to talk."

"Huh, when girls usually say that, it's a bad thing," he commented, walking over to her. "When you say it…it's like a death threat."

"Maybe it is," she said. "I just found something out from Abby and McGee."

"Oh did you? Something about our Marine in that clown get-up?"

"Yes. I wonder if his fellow crashers walked away from him when he was in such a amusing jacket." She commented, extending the quoted rule to make it clear she knew.

He leaned against the sinks next to her, brushing it off. "No idea what you're talking about."

"Oh come on Tony," she said, jumping down from the counter. "Give it down. You know what we are talking about here."

"Up," he corrected, avoiding the rest of her comment.

She looked at him, giving him one more chance. Knowing he would not give up, she huffed. "I can not believe you had me crash a wedding!"

"Well, technically we didn't crash a wedding…"

"How is it technical, Tony? Did you know those people?" She began pacing. He knew this wasn't going to end well.

"No,"

"Did you know anyone there?"

"No"

"So what is so technical about it? We crashed a wedding! You used this opportunity to get free food, drinks and talk to some girls!"

"Whoa, slow down there Sparky. I didn't talk to any girls. Do you not remember who was by you the entire time?"

"Well, yes, you were but still. You had the opportunity to flirt with them," She stopped her repetitive walk, placing her hands on her hips. "And stop trying to get me off the topic-WE CRASHED A WEDDING!"

"Alright! Yes! We crashed a wedding. But, come on, Ziva. You can't tell me you didn't have fun." He walked over to her, standing by her to try and get her to calm down.

"I did have some fun," she answered "but that does not excuse anything. We could have ruined someone's wedding."

"But did we?"

"No, but…"

"No 'buts'," he said, placing his hands on her shoulders. "We had fun. We didn't hurt anybody. We didn't ruin anything. Those people had a good time, and I say with us there, it got a lot better. Right?"

She huffed, looking up to meet his gaze. "I suppose so."

"Great," he said with a smile. "Now come on, we should get back to see about the case."

They stated walking toward the door, Tony opening it for her. A smirk came to his face as he opened his mouth.

"Ya know, there's another wedding next week if you want to…"

She turned around quickly, her index finger pointed toward him. "Don't even think about it."

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A/N: I've decided this needs a few more chapters. With the help of Brielle, I'm getting more and more ideas. Oh! And the titles are all rules I found about crashing. Just sayin.


	3. Rule 10: Invitations are for pussies

A/N: So this is the actual wedding. It's sort of like a flashback, sooo yeah. I really want to thank you all who have added this to your favorites and added it to your story alert. It makes me smile whenever I check my email and I see there's a new one. Anyway, on with the chapter.

Disclaimer: Do not own.

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Rule 10: Invitations Are For Pussies

"Come on, Ziva. Open your door!" the voice called, followed by a loud bang on her front door.

She huffed, getting up off the couch and pulling her robe closed. It was rare that the team got a Saturday off, and when they did she preferred to spend her time reading or staying in. "What do you want, Tony?" she questioned, as she opened the door.

The first thing that she noticed was his attire. He was wearing one of his black Armani suits with a crisp white button up shirt underneath. It was completed with the silk blue tie, perfectly completing the ensemble.

"Why are you so dressed up?"

"Why aren't you?" He retorted, letting himself into her apartment. "Come on, get dressed. Let's go Miss America."

She glared at him "And where are we going?"

"To a wedding."

"No," she said, walking back over and flopping down on her couch "It's my day off and I plan to spend it in, reading."

"Ziva, please," he whined, "it's my frat buddies wedding. And I can't go stag. Seriously. Do you know how much shit I'd get from Ted? Please?"

"Why can't you take Abby?"

"Concert."

"What about one of your old flings?"

"No way. I'd rather be with someone who's fun. Don't make me beg. DiNozzo men don't beg…unless it needs to be done."

She smirked, looking at him. He did look nice. And it was a waste if he'd gotten all dressed up and didn't go.

"Alright, I'll go with you. Just give me a few minutes and we can go."

"Thanks Ziva."

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They arrived at St. Michael's Church an hour later. Tony wasn't one to complain, after all, for such short notice Ziva looked gorgeous.

Her hair was curled and left down. She had on a deep blue strapless dress with a laced criss-cross pattern tying the back. It fell a few inches above her knees and she looked stunning. He was the perfect gentleman, opening the car door and helping her out. They walked up to the ushers and Tony introduced them.

"Chris Barone and Sophie Florio. Sorry boys, forgot my invite. I'm a friend of Ted's from college."

The two men nodded as the couple walked past.

"What was that?" Ziva questioned.

"Nothing," he brushed it off as they walked toward a pew.

She sat down, fixing her dress. "So you needed to change our names because...?"

"Would you prefer Ted constantly asking you questions and his staring? I may have told him a lot about you."

"I'd hope they were all good things," she chuckled.

"Oh, of course. I just left out all the ways you could kill a man with a pair of sunglasses. He thinks your smokin'. If I told him you were hear, I'm sure he wouldn't be getting married today."

"Oh thank you so much, Tony" she responded, her voice filled with sarcasm. "You know I need you to protect me always."

"Shh," he said, placing his hand over her mouth, "The wedding is starting."

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A/N: Third chapter done. Fourth in the works. And if you all really wanted to see the dress, this is what it looks like. I just changed the color. I had a dress similar to it, but it has sleeves.

.com/cache/control/product/~category_id=0120/~product_id=K5070J22954307

Read and review please. Love all the alerts and such, but reviews will make me work faster. It might even make me update Call Me Irresponsible and put up a one (two?) shot.


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